The sun was still high in the sky, a beautiful warm early September late afternoon. I was in a rush, having just fed the tiny troops dinner, homework had been completed, I was quickly buzzing through a sink full of dishes and then we were off to my son’s first soccer practice. It feels like yesterday when we were carefree and in the throes of road trip bliss, drowning in cheese sticks and pirate’s booty, Cold Play wafting through the warm air of our open-windows-minivan, dancing kids in the back seats (you know, in between squabbles), meandering up and down the east coast, over bridges, switching lanes on highways, going through tunnels and under mountains, often unsuccessfully pointing out cows and horses and goats grazing in the hills before they zipped past our windows. We made scenic detours and had very little structure and zero schedule to adhere to, which was partly heaven (let’s fit it all in and soak up every ounce of life!) and partly rough (umm the two year old went to bed at 10pm…again…)
Here we are now, fast forward a few days, and the invisible shot clock above my head is now back, and it’s like I am finding my land legs after having been bobbing along on the sea for the summer. My footing is wobbly, I’m constantly at-risk for dropping balls (did that form get signed? I wrote that check but where is it? I think I rescheduled that appointment….right?), I’m retraining my brain to learn the ropes of new practice times, and remembering who has back-to-back practices on which nights so the appropriate equipment gets sent to school that morning and figuring out carpools (carry the three, plus one booster, minus two kids and take the square root of all that: GO!) This hazy phase will all get drilled into my brain soon, give it a week or two. But right now. Whoa.
Back to the full sink. I had been sponging off dirty dishes and they were flying into the dishwasher in my haste. In the midst of this, faucet blasting hot water, up beside me comes a pair of tiny hands holding a nearly-newly-delivered open top cup of undrunk water from the half-cleared table onto the countertop beside me…but an ill-timed whats-that-sound-head-turn put a record-scratching stop to the chaotic ballet of the doing-of-the-dishes. Water. Everywhere. Sigh. Absentminded mommy to the rescue. Out comes the sponge, already heavy with water from it’s constantly interrupted sink bath, and, as it plopped onto the flooded counter….ugh, obviously, that ain’t gonna help anyone. Double sigh. I hover it back to the sink, squeeze out the excess water so I can soak up this mess so-we-can-get-on-the-road. The mess was cleaned, kids got in the car, and we headed off to practice, just have to make it to practice.
It was all fine, ultimately.
But as the captain of my tiny minivan filled with my squabbling squad en route to the soccer field, I couldn’t help thinking about the dang silly sponge. Why did I have to make that medium-sized mess even bigger in my fumbled attempt to help? Obviously, I’m an adult, and ahem, I know many adult things, including The Cardinal Rule of Sponges: expel liquid to receive liquid. Duh. But I have to say: I kinda felt a little moment of solidarity with that poor, probably over-worked and under-appreciated sponge. Before any of us can be of any assistance to anyone, all of us need to release whatever it is that weighs us down. That will look different for each one of us, but it’s a good thing to tuck away before we start saying yes and taking on jobs and doing all the things for all the people this season…. Before we have hands to aid, and before we can dive into a situation with a loved one and expect to offer any ounce of assistance (without making a giant mess of things), we have to let go. Let go of our silly looping circle of thoughts and worries in our own minds that could muddy the waters. Go for a run to expel the bundle of nerves or unused energy that could flub up matters in your home. Say no to extra volunteer panels/associations/evening social plans/*whatever* thing-that-sounds-good-in-
We did make it to soccer practice that night and I did finally let go of my little reflective moment about my kitchen sink as soon as I parked and hit the unlock button in the car to let the kiddos run. I need to get better at getting meta- all up on myself and taking stock of my minutes. Thankfully the moments in our lives, like it or not, just keep coming at us, full blast, like the water from the faucet. How you handle each one is up to you. Good luck out there.
Good stuff Kate! Love it!!
Aww thanks so much, Jen!! That means a lot!!
Yes!! I have been guilty of being a ‘yes gal’. And while it’s so great to jump in to help wherever I can, it’s actually better for my family to be a little more discerning to how I spend my time [read: overbooked Mommy is a bear to be around ?] Love your take on life and your advice, here!!
Nancy!! I feel you, girlfriend!! It’s so hard to be moment-to-moment, minute-by-minute, responsible for the fluctuating needs of our kids and spouse and family members and friends…and ourselves…and juggling all of the things for all of the people on all of the days!! It’s always helpful when I can steal just a second to kind of get a grip on my own thermostat…definitely helps regulate the rest of the house!! Good luck, my friend! We’re in it together!!
Wow this is me!! Substitute dance for soccer….
Yes!! So hard and so manic most days, right?? Just taking the time to figure it all out is so key. We can do hard things….I think? Lol!! Sending a big hug!
…..you have such a gift….you have added much joy to my life ?
Aww you are so wonderfully supportive of this endeavor and I can’t thank you enough, Aunt Nanette!! So glad you liked it!! xoxoxo