Happy Friday, friends! We made it! My moment today was kind of born from a reminder I got from a meditation earlier this week. The message was “right now, it is like this.” When I first began my meditation journey, I would become annoyed when I would finally find a few minutes of quiet in a tucked away part of my house…but inevitably, just moments later, little feet would be pattering around me, a scuffle would take place in the kitchen. A door would slam. A voice would ask me a question. I remember thinking geez, can’t I get one second in my day that’s just mine? Can’t they see that I’m trying to find peace and quiet and stillness?
This morning, again, I was up early, and sitting in silence. I exhaled. Just as soon as I began, upstairs I heard footsteps. A toilet flush. Feet down the steps. Cupboard doors open and slammed. Cardboard cereal box flaps opening. Crinkly plastic cereal bag clicking and crumpling and squishing. Questions asked of me. Voices making plans. Velcro sneakers ripping. Garage doors opening.
Amazingly, this time, I didn’t feel heat rise in my chest. My eyes didn’t squinch as I tried to block it out.
Right now, it is like this.
One day, if I’m lucky, I’ll have big kids who won’t need me quite so much.
One by one, if I’m lucky, the kids will spread their wings and fly, leaving our busy nest.
One day, if I’m lucky, I will have more quiet than I know what to do with.
One day, I’ll be longing for interruptions and a house full of footsteps. Little hands that touch my face, who climb into my lap (even though some barely fit anymore). Sibling spats that breed individuation, confidence, memories, love. Door slams as they run out to play with their best friends. Laughter and baseball disagreements coming in through open windows.
When I was doing yoga this morning I was holding a difficult pose and as sweat dripped down onto my mat, again I remembered, “right now it is like this.” My shaking muscles will soon have relief. My injured husband will soon heal. My remote learning week will soon end. My tired head will soon hit the pillow.
Right now, I am running upstairs and down when kids get kicked off of Google Meets, can’t figure out how to unmute or my husband needs ice for his eye.
Right now, I am soaking up a game of “go fish” with my 5 year old during breaks of school at home.
Right now, I am waving to friends and neighbors from my curb and having mini catch ups during play breaks.
Right now, I am incredibly grateful to be receiving dinner from loved ones and booze deliveries from kindergarten mom friends after a wild week.
Whatever season you’re in, heavenly or hard, I hope you too will remember, “Right now, it is like this.”
Care to share your thoughts?