It was Albert Einstein who said, “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.” I earnestly believe there are no chance encounters or random acts in life. Keeping our eyes open and looking for the messages within the moments, I feel that so often there is great meaning lying within some of life’s little accidents. In between my doctor and chiropractor appointments yesterday, I tapped in to listen to Tim Ferriss’ self-named podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, one I haven’t tuned into for quite some time, and then, while stopped at a red light, I did a giant scroll and, like episode-roulette, I randomly tapped on a name I had never heard of. This brought me to an interview with Suleika Jaouad. This American woman of Tunisian and Swiss descent, is the author of the New York Times best selling memoir, Between Two Kingdoms, which was born of her experience from writing the Emmy Award-winning New York Times column and video series Life, Interrupted. These works were both created to share her experience of being diagnosed at the age of 22 with a rare and aggressive form of leukemia, being in medical isolation in the hospital for 8 months, and receiving clinical trial chemotherapy treatments for 4 years. Her tale includes her roundabout path to becoming a writer and also her journey in processing her reality as a young person having to navigate the personal, physical, and emotional scars of having been just too old to be treated in a pediatric hospital and yet much too young to connect with her fellow cancer patients who were decades older than her. A 22 year old in isolation and receiving chemotherapy… and also a 27 year old recovering cancer “survivor” who still had a port and may never be able to have children, but also wanted to date. She was endlessly in search of members of her specific “club” so to speak, to find connection, which she ultimately found from the written word in the form of books and poems written by other cancer survivors. This then began a ripple of interest in her with how humans choose to interface with illness and write about it. Her newfound courage and brazen zest for life spurred her to finally overcome her fear and get her drivers license at age 27… and a month later, in the throes of this major transition, between the kingdoms of the sick and well, she decided to embark on a solo 15,000 mile journey to meet some of the remarkable people who had reached out to her in response to her column, which birthed a sojourn lasting 100 days… which ultimately became her book.
The parallels, though, clearly, with a distinctly different experience than my own, I had to smile and shake my head as I listened to her sharing her story. Illness. Writing. Epic road trip. It was not an accident that this was the tale fate drew me to in that random scroll. So many familiar points of intersection. It just feels so good, every time. With a stranger on a podcast, with a friend in your presence, with words written in a faraway land, hundreds of moons ago. The message that we are not alone in our quest for connection couldn’t be clearer. That was re-affirmed by a few kind texts I received from some friends who read my last post… everyone relating to their own “club”… some in the divorce club, or the lost sibling club, or those diagnosed with various illnesses, those without parents, survivors of natural disasters…. It’s endless. Each club is unique, but being part of one, any, unites us all, just understanding the feeling of belonging to a group you are glad exists, but a member of which you may wish you’d rather not be.
Such is life as a human. And in this life, I so deeply enjoy getting to know people and their personalities and their journeys and their struggles and their triumphs. It’s that very realness that makes the beauty of connection so great. And in yet another comical and “accidental” twist of fate yesterday… on one of my husband’s final Fridays off (his schedule changes in July), he and I decided to go to lunch. To connect for a little face-to-face time during this sea of prednisone and appointments and pain. We were seated at a table next to a man and woman and a baby in a stroller. Intermittently, the baby would come out for snuggles or a bottle or to look around. Each time, I would make eyes at this cherubic little peanut and I got a few smiles, the likes of which make my husband and I both so deeply joyful. At one point, the woman passed the baby to the man who held the babe up overhead to the mirror behind him and was saying “Hi, Emerson! That’s you, Emerson!” It caught my attention as I had attended Emerson College in Boston to get my masters degree in Communication Sciences and Disorders so I turned my head around when I heard the name and we got to chatting. Here this beautiful soul is a nursing mother of four, who was going to begin feeding therapy with this baby, this week, at my previous place of work, where I had originally fallen in love with infant feeding and swallowing. I had shared with her my path as well as my long desire to pursue a career in lactation counseling and she said “Oh my gosh, you should just do it! I’m such a big believer in doing what makes you happy. You only live once, you might as well enjoy yourself!” And she then went on to detail her journey to become an ultrasound technician (which abruptly ended midstream with a health complication) that paved the way for her to get her real estate license, which was then interrupted by another health issue, that then took a pause to open a charcuterie board business during the pandemic, that now is thriving. She has a shop, they deliver, she is doing events and has formed relationships with local shops and wineries and what was going to be a short-lived pandemic passion project is now becoming a beautiful mainstay in Haddon Heights, NJ. (Check out Board on Instagram @board.nj and www.boardcatering.com to support my newfound friend, Nikki!). We had the best conversation and I eventually learned that it was her birthday and she was sharing this lunch with her hilarious gay best friend (who was also celebrating completing a big exam in nursing school). We laughed with them and shared stories over cocktails, Pat answered a dermatologic question and provided counsel… and we went home and I (finally) registered to begin the necessary coursework to become a Certified Lactation Counselor!!
Guys, this is not random. These coincidences are not by chance. Keep your eyes open. Keep listening. There are whispers out there for you. For all of us. Keep seeking your people and your truths and your happiness. If you have a moment where you feel isolated and alone, please remember that there is a place for each one of us out there. And go enjoy some charcuterie. ❤️
Care to share your thoughts?